C32 class loco, flat truck and guard's van

Hit or Myth?

Are the following just Myths or is there a hint of truth hidden in there somewhere?

  1. Australians are the most balanced people in the world. We have a chip on both shoulders.
  2. History is just a myth that everyone agrees on.
  3. During WW2 German-made ball-bearings were used in British tanks.
  4. An open bowl of sodium bicarbonate placed in a refrigerator will remove any strange smells therein.
  5. During WW2 British-made EF50 radio valves were used in German military radios.
  6. An open bowl of water, placed in a room with an electric radiator, will prevent the air from drying out.
  7. More WW2 fighter pilots were lost by showing off and accidents than actually shot down, on both sides.
  8. Before the P51 Mustang was barely off the drawing board, an Australian designed and built fighter with a 2500mile range was turned down by the Australian Government.
  9. The Japanese Zero was based on an Australian plane rejected by the Australian government pre WW2.
  10. Countries that have the Eagle as their emblem believe in world domination, Rome, Nazi Germany, .....?
  11. After its population blew the fifth planet to pieces, remnants of said population travelled to Mars and Earth. The Mars group died out long ago. The Earth group are getting ready to repeat the exercise.
  12. An open bucket of water, containing crushed onions, placed in a freshly painted room will remove the paint smell.
  13. Global warming is caused by natural phenomona and not human activity.
  14. White egg-shells placed on the top of Tomato stakes will keep away the moths.
  15. The Earth has been infested with humans more than once.
  16. Global warming is caused by human activity. The excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is due to the billions of fizzy drinks consumed every year.
  17. It's amazing just how much coolness can be generated by a few hot words.
  18. If you take a baby out on a windy day, it will get colic.
  19. Doing more with less is actually impossible, but it sure sounds good.
  20. The difference between the good ol' days and now is that we have a lot more technology.
  21. To bring back the good old days, just remove the technology.
  22. Bigger usually means worse.
  23. It's who you know, not what you know, that counts.
  24. The people who have the power to fix a problem usually dont see the need to.
  25. Progress is just the destruction of all the good things our parent's generation left us.
  26. It's people who say "It's not good enough" that cause progress to occur.
  27. Nobody knows what they dont know until they know it.
  28. People seem to enjoy doing things more if they think they are the only ones doing it.
  29. New doesn't automatically mean better.
  30. People who say that all men should act like brothers obviously dont have any.
  31. A Communist is a person who thinks no one should own anything of value.
  32. A Capitalist is a person who thinks no one else should own anything of value.
  33. If you owe the bank a thousand and you cant pay it back, you have a problem.
  34. If you owe the bank twenty million and you cant pay it back, the bank has a problem.
  35. People become politicians for the good of the country.
  36. It's the Opposition in parliament that stops a democracy becoming a government of bullies.
  37. Light travels faster than sound. That's why politicians appear bright until you hear them speak.
  38. You know a society and its government are going bad when immoral and illegal are two different concepts.
  39. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  40. In democratic governments the kettles are always in power while the pots are only ever in opposition.
  41. Politicians, like nappys, often need to be changed for the same reason.
  42. The winner in an election is the political party that has the least votes against it.
  43. Australia is a lucky country.
  44. If a lie is repeated often enough everybody will begin to believe it.
  45. A democratic country is one in which you can say what you like as long as you do what you're told.
  46. In Australia, due to defamation and vilification laws, you can say what you like as long as no one hears you.
  47. People who haven't fought for their freedom are the first ones to give it away.
  48. One thing we can learn from our history is that present enemies may become future friends and more importantly present friends can become future enemies.
  49. Be wary when your enemy congratulates you.
  50. A democracy only works correctly when the voters are intelligent, well educated and well informed.
  51. Maybe the above explains the lack of statesmen in Australian politics.
  52. Societies where the government tells its citizens to spy on each other are among the worst in the world.
  53. Societies where the people tell the government to go to blazes are among the best.
  54. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
  55. The NSW Govt changed to a 4 term school year so that the tourist industry would have the best time of the year to itself with no holidaying school children cluttering up the place.
  56. There's no such thing as an honest politician, just ones who haven't been caught yet.
  57. When politicians commit the heinous offence of lying to the Parliament, they are punished: when they lie to the voters, its called a non-core promise and we let them get away with it.
  58. The voters get the politicians they deserve.
  59. To help in deciding who to vote for, mentally dress the relevant politician in the black Nazi SS uniform. If the politician looks like they were born to wear it, think very hard before you decide.
  60. By their recently passed legislation, Australian politicians act like a lot of old women.
  61. The Government is pricing higher education out of the reach of the average person because their friends in big business cant find anyone to do the mundane jobs.
  62. A Politician calls his answer to a problem, a solution, because he knows it will be watered down before implementation.
  63. In days of old, the most used Australian catch-cry was "She'll be right mate." Nowadays it's "We used to but we dont any more."
  64. Vacuum-tube technology was used to entertain and inform the masses.
  65. Solid-state semiconductor technology is being used to control and enslave the masses.
  66. The movie "Rain Man" started a chain of events that led to Qantas's safety record taking a nose-dive.
  67. When interest rates fall, money is taken from the savers and given to the borrowers.
  68. When interest rates rise, money is taken from the borrowers and given back to the savers.
  69. Peace is just the period in which countries restock their armories.
  70. Propaganda is the art of deceiving your friends rather than your enemies.
  71. Diplomacy is saying "Nice doggie." while looking for a big rock.
  72. War occurs next time the dog hears "Nice doggie."
  73. Do-gooders end up doing more harm than good.
  74. A bore is anyone who talks more than you do.
  75. The Great Pyramid of Egypt was built in 20 years.
  76. Eating carrots is good for your eyesight.
  77. The more cockroaches in the kitchen, the better the restaurant.
  78. Some families can trace their ancestors back over 200 yrs but dont know where their children were last night.
  79. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
  80. You can fool some of the people all the time and all the people some of the time but not all the people all the time.
  81. An ordinary person can make a difference, that is a truly lasting difference.
  82. There's no more satisfying form of power than to do what you want without others being aware of it.
  83. When people start attacking the messenger you know the message must be true.
  84. Many a true word is spoken in jest.
  85. If you can make people laugh in a serious discussion they wont take the discussion seriously.
  86. Just because someone utters the words doesn't mean they really believe them.
  87. Nice people finish last.
  88. Ever notice how modern business managers all say that their staff are their most important resource, then try every possible way to minimise the number of these very same employees, sorry, human resources.
  89. There's nothing like a rigid hierarchy to whet one's appetite for breaking the rules.
  90. There was a time, if a few people broke the rules, they got punished. Now when a few people break the rules, we all get punished.
  91. A conclusion is what you come to when you get tired of thinking.
  92. The quickest way to find something you've lost is to buy a replacement.
  93. Walking under a ladder is bad for your health.
  94. Moth balls attract moths.
  95. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
  96. People who have a watch know the time. People who have two watches are never sure what the time is.
  97. The person who changes the toilet roll gets to choose which way it goes on.
  98. To relive your schooldays, get a piece of real leather, an apple and a freshly sharpened pencil, and smell them.
  99. A person with money to burn has a good chance of finding a perfect match.
  100. In marriage, people neither get what they want nor want what they get.
  101. Some wives think if you give them an inch it makes them a ruler.
  102. The reason women live longer than men is because paint is a great preservative.
  103. A man is incomplete until he's married - then he's really finished.
  104. As soon as most women have a drink or two, they start looking for a chaser.
  105. When courting, a man spends so much on a woman that he ends up marrying her for his money.
  106. A Priest always tells people they should be married knowing fullwell he'll never have to.
  107. Wisdom often comes with marriage but by then it's too late.
  108. The ideal marriage is one between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
  109. Bigamy is having one spouse too many. Monogamy is somewhat similar.
  110. A financial genius is any man who can make money faster than his wife can spend it.
  111. The word most favoured by women is usually the last one.
  112. Any man, who thinks he's more intelligent than his wife, is married to a smart woman.
  113. Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. After marriage the "y", like the husband, is silent.
  114. Nothing reminds a woman of all that needs to be done around the house like a husband who is taking it easy.
  115. God created Adam, took one look and thought he could do better, so he created Eve.
  116. God made men fools so that women wouldn't become old maids.
  117. Women used to marry for better or worse. Now they marry for more or less.
  118. Gentlemen prefer blondes because they think blondes are dumber than brunettes ; in reality they're just better actors.
  119. Women have sex until they become mothers, then they have headaches.
  120. Senior citizens have as much sex as newlyweds. Newlyweds have it as often as he can rise to the occasion. So do they.
  121. A monologue is what you call a conversation between a husband and wife.
  122. It's ok to pray in your sleep, but beware the man who says Grace in his sleep, when his wife's name is Violet.
  123. One wife's view of retirement: Half the money and twice the husband.
  124. Many older women say they dont like young women wearing backless frocks, but what they actually dont like is the perfect frockless backs.
  125. The aim of any woman is to find a meal ticket for her children then bury him.
  126. The aim of any man is to find a woman he can bury his head in.
  127. The aim of any private enterprise is to separate you and your money.
  128. The aim of any government is to stay in power.
  129. Television programs are the result of asking the public what it wants.
  130. To relive your last motel holiday, slip a slice of bread in the toaster, turn up the heat and smell the nostalgic aroma of burnt toast.
  131. Egypt's tourist industy is in ruins.
  132. Ever noticed that nobody has enough time to do a job properly the first time but there's always enough time to come back and do it again.
  133. Nothing travels faster than light,  except bad news.
  134. The person you see in the mirror is seen by nobody else.
  135. All things spoken by an Expert are just words coming out of a drip under pressure.
  136. If you want to appear as a natural born leader in any situation, just keep your head when all those around you are losing theirs.
  137. There's no sicker person than one who is actually sick on their "sickie".
  138. No matter what happens, there's always somebody who knew it would.
  139. The truth should never get in the way of a good story.
  140. Ignorance should never get in the way when voicing your opinion.
  141. Barking dogs rarely bite. It's the quiet ones you have to look out for.
  142. People, who complain about a problem verbally, rarely do anything about it.
  143. People, who say I'm gunna do this or that a lot, rarely do anything at all.
  144. When the past is worse than the present the people in power make sure you hear all about it.
  145. The most important thing wrong with the NSW Railways is that the Ruling Class doesn't travel on them.
  146. When the past is better than the present they make sure you dont hear about it at all.
  147. Pre-packaged biscuits have pretty pictures on opaque packaging so you cant see if they're broken.
  148. You have to wonder what express means when you see a magazine rack in front of a supermarket express checkout. Maybe that's what ex-press really means.
  149. The good things you bought in the past are not made anymore but the rubbish still is.
  150. Cynics are disillusioned idealists who have had their eyes opened.
  151. Optimists tell pessimists that there's no point worrying about things you can do nothing about. Pessimists say that's exactly why they do worry.
  152. People who are happy just dont know what is really going on.
  153. The human race has not yet gained the wisdom to not always do everything it has just learnt how to.
  154. Supermarket plastic bags have become an intrinsic part of our garbage system by reducing flies, smells and disease from six day old rotting food scraps in our warm climate, and less trees cut down for newspaper to wrap rubbish.
  155. It's not the actual truth that matters but rather what people will believe is the truth.
  156. Various Newspaper Companies are getting behind the push to remove plastic bags. They think the public will have to buy more newspapers. (to wrap the rubbish in)
  157. It's the media which controls public opinion , not the public.
  158. What we can learn from history is that we never learn from the past.
  159. A good workman never blames his tools. That's why you should always borrow someone else's.
  160. When searching for something it is always in the last place you look.
  161. Owning a pet makes old people live longer.
  162. When searching for something it is always in the last place you can look.
  163. To reduce a major portion of the world's pollution, clean up the film and television industry.
  164. Roads would be safer if the curves were only outside the car, not next to the driver.
  165. All the petrol saved, by having a large wind-tunnel-optimised sloping windscreen, is completely wasted running the necessary air-conditioner.
  166. Cars with large sloping windscreens will increase the number of skin-cancers on the back of the drivers hands.
  167. Pedestrian crossings and refuges are designed to protect the car-drivers, not the pedestrians.
  168. When another driver breaks the rules there's never a cop in sight. When you do there's one right behind you.
  169. Ever notice Cab drivers are different to the rest of us. They put their foot on the brake coming up to a green light.
  170. It always rains just after you wash the car.
  171. In a traffic jam it's always the other lane that moves faster.
  172. The best way to make your old car run better is to learn the price of a new one.
  173. Driving an automatic car with your right foot on the accelerator and your left foot on the brake is good as your stopping time will be half a second quicker.
  174. Dont drink when you drive. You might hit a bump and spill it.
  175. Driving an automatic car with your right foot on the accelerator and your left foot on the brake is bad as you will most likely drive with your foot resting lightly on the brake pedal continuously, thus overheating your brakes and overheated brakes make your stopping time much longer.
  176. A simple way to reduce the number of road accidents would be to call major collisions, "accidents", and minor ones, "incidents".
  177. The automobile pollution problem can be easily solved by having the exhaust pipe at the front of the car.
  178. Road Rage is a bigger problem than the people who cause it.
  179. Now that the general motorist population have paid for the roads, they will be conditioned to use public transport.
  180. There is nothing so unequal as the equal treatment of unequals. (Isn't this a description of Communism?)
  181. If the Media was banned from using the words "could, may, might", newspapers would be much thinner, the TV news would last only five minutes and lottery ads would be impossible.
  182. Knowledge is plentiful these days but the wisdom to use it properly is very scarce.
  183. AIDS is a man-made disease designed to reduce the drain on civilised societies by uncivilised societies.
  184. Year for year, the chain-saw has extinguished more life than the gun.

  ©  Gary Yates   Locofonic Recordings Australia  
This page first written 18-12-2001 last updated 18-8-2007.